Maybe you’re not there anymore. I’m sorry I’ve been gone. It’s been so long that I don’t know what to say.
But let me start with this. I haven’t forgotten about you, and I haven’t ever given up on this project.
But I needed to go away for a while, to be entirely selfish. And there’s no beautiful way to put that except that while I was gone, I did see beautiful things. And tried them, and tasted them and ran after them. I counted stars and saw heartbreak in nature and stood at the barre of a ballet studio watching my childhood dreams break and rebuild themselves again.
I tasted tea with flower petals swirling in it, saw crumbling temples and mountains that I’ll never climb. I’ve been reading bad poetry and gripping window panes.
And I visited a ton of coffee shops.
I smoked and sang and danced and missed you.
What I’m saying is I’m coming back, and a little bit at a time, I’ll open up again. So here’s to disappearing into dark street corners wearing your best heels and hoping for a good night. If you know why I disappeared to Paris, gathered stories and came back I’m hoping you’ll understand it was the same this time, and always will be.
PS- I’ll try to be posting at least once a week from now on. Stay tuned for more Parisian stories, and how I will dance again.